My Mommy Nightmare

It all started with my little poltergeist baby.  On Monday might my 8 week old projectile spit up her milk like I had never seen before!  It just kept going!  Wow, I guess I overfed her is what I thought.  On Tuesday she had a similar spit up and again, I just assumed she was making the signs saying she wanted food but really wasn't hungry.  Then in the middle of the night on Tuesday she continued with the projecting and added diarrhea to the list.  Now it was no longer an issue of over-feeding and I knew my little baby was sick so I made her a Doctor appointment for Wednesday afternoon.

The doctor said she was about 5% dehydrated and had some kind of stomach virus.  He recommended if she showed more signs of dehydration that I should take her to the ER for an IV.  So I took her home, and she continued to vomit or diarrhea every time she drank and could not keep any food down.  My biggest worry was how would I know if she was at the point of dehydration to need an IV.  The doctor told me what the signs would be and said: "I trust you" when I expressed this concern.  After dinner I saw the signs clearly and Jesus and I rushed our little baby to the ER.  Her eyes were heavy from not sleeping but also looked sunken in from dehydration.  Her coloring was off and she was lethargic.  It was so scary because it was like she changed in an instant from being ok to not and it happened so fast because she's so small and doesn't have any reserve.

Jesus was so excited that she didn't cry when they poked her for the IV but I knew it wasn't good that she didn't cry.  It was because she was too lethargic and dehydrated to even respond and the Doctor confirmed my thoughts.  Then things got worse when they admitted us for the night.  She had a rash all over her body, a fever and needed to be monitored to get rehydrated and needed to be able to keep her milk down at home.  Jesus went home to be with Joaquin and I stayed in the hospital for one of the worst nights of my life.  I laid in the room with my baby and listened to her whine the entire night in pain.  She barely slept and was hungry.  We mixed her milk with Pedialyte but she wasn't drinking nearly as much as normal (which was actually fine because the IV could compensate).  Then the tests began.  My little girl was poked and prodded with blood draws and even a catheter.  She wasn't peeing and the Doctor had to be real with me.  He let me know all the tests were to rule out things like a urine infection, kidney infection (or failure!) and he said depending on the results, they would possibly need a spinal tap to rule out meningitis.  Meningitis?!  Isn't that some crazy disease in the old days like Polio?  Maybe not, but that's what I thought and I was not about to google it and find out!  Thank heavens the tests did not need to go that far.  I couldn't handle my baby screaming and crying anymore so when they put in the catheter, I went downstairs, sat on a bench and cried.  I cried all night in fear and sadness. But later that night, my daughter peed!  I was so upset from not sleeping but when she peed, I no longer cared about sleep and was just so happy her kidneys were working!

Then an hour later, the doctor came in and told me her urine test results were good and she did not have a urine infection.  Her blood work also came back good and we did not need to test for meningitis!  She just had a very bad stomach virus that would run it's course.  This morning, Jesus joined me at the hospital again and he and the missionaries in our area gave our little girl a Priesthood blessing.  The blessing reassured me there was much work for her to do yet on this earth.  Now, was I being a crazy mom all night wondering if she was going to pull through? Maybe but maybe not because what would you think if your doctor said they needed to rule out meningitis and kidney failure for your 8 week old! But the good news is all results have pointed to just a stomach virus and no crazy disease.  A sad battle to fight but only a few days long hopefully.  

Today she looked amazingly better!  Just look at her before and after photo within a matter of hours.

Her rash has cleared up tremendously and her fever has gone down!  She even smiled today and to not see that smile for even just 24 hours was heartbreaking. She's drinking her milk again (still mixed with some Pedialyte) and she worked herself up to her normal dose.  If she holds her milk down all night and all the other symptoms stay away, she will be coming home in the morning and I couldn't be more excited!  So please pray for no negative changes and only improvements.  It was only two nights in the hospital but honestly one of the scariest nights of my life.

Tidbits:

• I had the best nurses and doctors.  So knowledgeable and so sweet!
• When I arrived in our hospital room, the nurse brought me ice cream.
• The grandma nurse was the best who offered to hold my baby without being asked and loved to cuddle her.  Her story about how she doesn't drink much but had four coronas at a wedding and sang karaoke and thought she'd get "whiplash just from her butt," while my baby was getting blood drawn helped to lighten the mood...well...she tried!  
• We went to the ER on my husband's birthday.
• I believe in the Priesthood being restored and on the earth today and am so grateful I have the gift of faith.
• Fingers crossed we are out of the hospital and home in the morning!

Toddler Busy Bag Exchange: Religious Edition

One thing I am grateful for in my life is a group of friends who share a common interest in raising our children to know Christ and the Gospel.  We also share the common interest of getting our small children to sit down and be quiet during church! These commonalities led us to our toddler busy bag exchange: religious edition.  You can see our non-religious related busy bag exchanges here and here!  Be sure to check them out for ideas to keep your little ones busy.

Jess printed pages of different modern day Prophets and Apostles with a giant letter of their last name to help kids with their ABC's, letter sounds and to learn the names of the Prophets.  The kids can decorate each page with all the stickers she included.

Anjela, like so many of us, had a hard time figuring out what to do for a religious busy bag that was in our skill set, affordable or that didn't require a printer so she made us the best long-lasting play-dough with the recipe.

I'm posting this blog too soon because this little photo album is about to become an ABC book using words about the Gospel.  Cami is making us digital files of all the pages including pictures of our own children so once we send her photos of our kids, she will include them in the file and then we can print them off and fill this little photo book.

Kristy made this magnetic puzzle on an adorable tray that can unintentionally double for tea parties. ;)

Mel made this flip book all about Christ and the purpose of the Sacrament and Atonement.  We can show it to the kids during the passing of the bread and water to help them understand why we take it. Here's the link to the printable.

Selena made a matching/memory game with these pictures of prayer, baptism, CTR (choose the right), etc.

I made the "Jesus Loves You" file folder game found here.  Kids get to match the cards of children from all around the world with the matching picture in the folder.

Did some of the vocabulary in this blogpost throw you for a loop?  Prophet, Sacrament, Atonement perhaps?  You can click this "I'm a Mormon" link here or it's always on my blog's homepage to learn more!

Cloth Diapers: MY Routine

I posted this adorable picture on my Facebook and Instagram and got quite a few questions and feedback about cloth diapering so I wanted to share my routine.  The reason I capitalized "My" in the title of this post is I've found that every parent tweaks their routine a little.  I've just started so I may even tweak but here's the current run down.  Thanks to all my cloth diapering friends for helping me out getting started and another thank you to the kind woman who was donating all of her used (but still in great condition) cloth diapers that I got my hands on!

First here are my supplies:

1. This is a wet/dry bag for on the go from Planet Wise.  It has one zipper pocket for dry diapers and another lined pocket for wet diapers and this bag can go right in the diaper bag.  Since I've gotten this however, I've been using it mostly for taking Joaquin swimming.  What a great place to put our wet swimsuits!

2. This is where I put my used cloth diapers in the house.  For a diaper pail, I decided on a trash can with foot pedal with a Kanga brand diaper pail liner with drawstring on the inside.  Again with that nice lining for wet things.

3. A separate tiny foot pedal trash can I found at Ikea for disposable wipes.  Some people use cloth wipes that they can just put in the same diaper pail but this whole endeavor is gross enough for me so I just don't want to do that.

  

3. A personal touch for me was this cool Air wick air freshener with an auto spray.  It sits on the shelf of the closet right above the diaper pail in case that thing ever starts to smell.  Am I a genius or what?!

4. And finally my beautiful supply of cloth diapers!  Aren't they cute?  I have a supply of Cutey Babies all in ones where the microfiber liner is attached to the waterproof cover.  Then I also have Fuzzy Buns and Bum Genius where all I have to do is stuff a microfiber liner into each waterproof diaper cover.  In the right of this drawer are extra yellow microfiber liners all folded up.  And on the bottom right of the drawer are extra flushable liners that are supposed to catch the poo.

And here's my routine:

1. I  stuff each diaper (that needs stuffing if it's not an all in one) with a microfiber liner after it comes out of the wash so they are always ready.  Then I just snap one of these cute diapers on my baby just like putting on a disposable diaper.  I'll also add one of the disposable liners into the diaper before putting it on her but that's easy to do during each diaper change.  

2. Place soil diaper in diaper pail.  But first I reluctantly and gently pull out the microfiber liner to separate it from the diaper cover so I don't have to do that later during my wash routine.  I place wipes in the wipes trash can and the flushable liner gets flushed.  I have both my little trash can and diaper pail in the closet across from each other so it's not like I'm doing an extra step throwing diapers and wipes in separate places.

Note: it's recommended to not put solids in the washing machine so I would dump any solid poop possibly from formula or when baby starts solid foods in the toilet first (that should have hopefully been caught in my flushable liner) or I may give in and buy a diaper sprayer that attaches to the toilet.

3. It's recommended to wash cloth diapers every other day so that's what I do.  You'll need a stash of at least 15-20 so your baby can go through 10-12 diapers a day and then you can wash a load every other day.  I turn the Kanga diaper pail liner inside out and dump everything in the washer including the bag!

4.  The next few steps are basically rinse-wash-rinse. First, I run a cold rinse cycle on the highest water setting to get any water soluble poo rinsed off.

5.  Next I run a heavy duty hot wash cycle with an extra rinse cycle with detergent (currently trying All Free and Clear). 

6.  Finally I run one more heavy duty hot wash cycle without detergent (optional).  This helps to prevent detergent build up on the diapers to make their absorbency last longer.  Many people just do a rinse, wash, rinse cycle but I do this last step because I have used diapers and want them to last as long as possible.

7. Put liners in the dryer and hang waterproof covers to dry.

While I wrote this in 7 steps...it doesn't actually feel like that many steps.  I'm just laying it out there! There's so many resources online and this is a new endeavor for me too but I'm most excited about the money saving benefit.  Sure, I could lie to you and tell you I do this to help the environment and to prevent diaper rash or some other reason but for me "It's all about the Benjamins baby."

I should also mention that typical Desitin diaper cream ruins the absorbency of cloth so read online about a friendly alternative.  I'm trying Grandma El's or coconut oil for now.

Thank you mi amor.

After our second child was born, neither of us were sleeping through the night. As I was still recovering from surgery, my generous husband offered to do some extra nighttime feedings using my pumped milk or formula because it was still hard for me getting in and out of bed. Last night his turn was at 2:30am and he hadn't gone to sleep prior. My turn to feed wasn't until 6:30am and I was so grateful to let my husband sleep. But then it happened. Baby girl had a blow out (while I was changing her) into our bed where the whole family was sleeping! My sweet husband had no choice but to wake, get out of bed and help me. He managed to change the baby's clothes while I changed the sheets and myself!! My oldest son, age 2, of course awoke in tears because he thought it was time to wake up and play but we asked him to go back to bed. Then my husband knew just what to do. He laid the baby in my son's bed in the kid's room and then came for my son. He brought him to the kid's room as well and within minutes the three of them were asleep in my son's twin bed while I showered and washed the bed sheets. I'm in tears of gratitude as I write this.

The past few days have been beautiful in so many ways but also so difficult. I'm grateful to so many people who have supported me at this time even when I didn't recognize I needed the support. It's hard to give birth, have surgery, a literal near heart attack (birth story here), try to figure out nursing, pumping and really what's best for my family all while still trying to take care of my son, my little dog and support my husband rather than just bossing him around because it's all so much. I love my new baby and I love my whole family I've been blessed with. It will get easier but I'm so happy to have my husband by my side. He's the reason for this post, the reason for our children/family and I wouldn't be where I am today without him. Thank you mi amor.

Becky

Sent from my iPhone

Baby Khaleesi's Birth Story

I am loving the feeling of a sleeping baby on my chest while I take some time to update my blog.

Warning: you're about to read a bit of a horror story about Khaleesi's birth but I can assure you, I am better and out of the woods now.  Before I continue, please know that my caesarean section with Joaquin was not bad.  I recovered quickly, had great nurses and anesthesiologists etc.  I did spend the first 24 hours being nauseous from the epidural and narcotics but that happens to me with any surgery.  However it was hard to not be able to hold Joaquin the first day because of the constant nausea and vomiting.  The shaking of my arms in the operating room was also a little much.  But really, the good won out with a great hospital, a supportive husband and I don't even remember the pain of the epidural!

Khaleesi's ceasarean yesterday was quite different.  Let's start with the good news.  My friend, Anjela, is a doula and introduced me to something called gentle caesarean or family centered caesarean.  There are new approaches to help moms experience something closer to a natural birth and less like a surgery.  I learned so many cool things and came up with a birth plan implementing things to do differently and my Anesthesiologist and Doctor were on board with all of it!  For a couple examples, Jesus got to be with me for the epidural and they didn't strap my arms down during the surgery.  So I was very appreciative of all the understanding.

I also wanted skin to skin ASAP in the operating room but because of my low tolerance for drugs, that did not happen.  Everyone on the team was made very aware of my nausea and they tried so many things to help me not have a 24 hour nauseous experience like I did with Joaquin.  The good news is, my nausea did get under control and I was able to hold Khaleesi more than I held Joaquin by evening time.   I was even able to speak and get words out during yesterday without almost hurling every syllable!  The bad news however is how many drugs they gave me to keep the nausea at bay.  While it was better by night, it did not stay at bay during or after the surgery.  I threw up several times in the operating room and then even more in recovery.  Recovery normally takes 45 minutes but I was there almost 4 hours while Jesus and the baby were back in their room.  Not only did I have nausea but my limbs were shaking uncontrollably from all the narcotics.  Then my blood pressure was too low so they gave me medicine for that.  By now I've had an epidural, nausea meds, blood pressure meds, and meds to stop the shaking and this was clearly too much for me!  Next thing I knew was the feeling of my heart beating out of my chest and hearing the beeping of my heart monitor racing in pace with red lights flashing.  Suddenly there were three nurses at my side and the doctor was called immediately to get to me!  While my heart rate is normally in the 80s-90s, it spiked to 212!  All I can say is how grateful I am that I am alive and that I didn't die in the recovery room while my husband and family were somewhere else!

Oh another tidbit of the surgery was a shooting pain through my shoulder, into my neck and at the base of my head.  Like a torn muscle or something.  The anesthesiologist said sometimes this happens when there are tools going into your stomach causing pain to travel to higher muscles...or something.  The doctor however never saw this happen with someone's shoulder.  While the pain was excruciating, it was finally put under control too but only after they refused me more drugs to not cause more nausea.  I also really do love my doctor.  As she was sewing me up after the baby was out, she begged her co-workers to play some music and she was so funny making sure it was "good" music that she or I would like.  I thought it was a sweet consideration.

So now I don't know what to do for a future caesarean.  Whats's worse?  24 hours of nausea without holding the baby or 4 hours in recovery and a racing heart rate?!  I don't know but it is clear that I have drug sensitivity and there is no magic cure so good luck to me I guess!

It's day 2 and I feel so much better!  I've been keeping food down and my hear rate is normal!  And...we have a new baby!  She is beautiful and I'm so so happy to give Joaquin a little sister.  He was a bit nervous at first to see me in the hospital and it was difficult to understand that baby was no longer in my tummy. But again by day 2, he did so much better while visiting the hospital and even brought Khaleesi a toy.

 I love my little family!  Newest member: Khaleesi Jane Gonzalez.  6lbs. 15 oz. 19.5 inches long.  Born 7-29-15.

Preparing for surgery!

A realistic photo of emotionally seeing the baby for the first time but just after after the vomiting has started...enjoy!

Family visit

Meeting grandma after we surprised her by giving our daughter grandma's middle name.

Big Brother

Utah-Summer-2015

It's only been a month or two that my husband's dear mom has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.  So far, she is battling hard and doing OK but please feel free to read her story on our Go Fund Me page by clicking here.

With this news, my husband knew it was important to get to Utah as soon as he could to support her and her husband and what better time than when he could get some extra work off for the Independence day holiday!  So beginning our journey while I was 35 weeks pregnant and returning at 36 weeks, off we went a road trippin'!

We made the drive in two days driving 10-12 hours a day.  Sure, it should have been 9-10 hours a day but with a pregnant lady who needs to walk for circulation every few hours, a husband that loves stopping for coke and an occasional diaper change for the two year old (who did amazingly awesome), it all just took time!  But we made it.

On our way there, we went through South Dakota which surprisingly has lot of little tourist stops!  We stopped at the Oasis to see the buffalo statues and at Mt. Rushmore where we stayed the night.  We drove through Wyoming the next day and drove through nothing but beautiful planes and mountains (still boring but beautiful).  Although we did see lots of Mormon Pioneer stops but didn't work them into our schedule because we didn't realize we'd be passing them. We caught a little history about them at one of the rest stops which was cool.

You know who took our photo here?  Another family on the road that lives 15 minutes away from us in Minnesota....weird!

A Wyoming sunset

In Utah, we stayed at one of the Canyons Resorts in Park City and boy do I recommend it!  Do you ever go to different places and think to yourself "I could live here!"?  Well I've never felt that when visiting Utah until Park City.  It's so beautiful there way up in the mountains!  Our resort had a lovely cabriolet to take people part way up the mountain that we could ride for free.  It also had lovely pools from the adults only serenity pool to the outdoor pool hopping with kids like Joaquin.  It was so relaxing to be there.

Olympic Park 

Riding the Cabriolet

Downtown Park City for a sushi date with Jesus's best friend from college!

Each day we drove down to Salt Lake City to be with Jesus' mom.  She was only in the hospital one day while we were there and the rest of the time we were at home.  We invited her and her husband out to our resort for a weekend overnight.  We visited together, took photos at Temple Square and ate at Tucanos Brazilian steakhouse to name a few highlights.  Minnesota friends: if you like Fogo De Chao, you'd love Tucanos because it's just as, if not more, delicious and way cheaper!  We also ate at Cafe Rio which everyone and their mom loves in Utah but it took me a while to jump on the bandwagon.  This time I finally figured out how to order.  I had to get a salad so I could really taste the fresh made tortilla bowl and I had to add the dressing that everyone raves about.  Now I'm on the bandwagon and told Jesus we should buy a franchise and bring it to MN!  Think Chipotle but with handmade tortillas, way more salsas, yummier meat and a bigger menu.

Holding grandma's hand-adorable!

Salt Lake LDS Temple

On our way home, we decided to drive the Nebraska/Iowa route which was a half hour longer but seemed more populated than Wyoming (although less beautiful).  It was a long hard trip with lots of back pain but it was so worth it.  It was such a nice time to spend with Jesus's family.  His niece was even able to be there at the same time as us which was even more fun. I'm glad we're all back and resting before the new baby comes but so glad we had this adventure!

Second Baby Syndrome: Reflections of 2nd and 3rd Trimesters

I've been the worst blogger lately!  I've even had things to write about and just haven't written them down.  My life has been having a lot of whirl winds and craziness lately and the busy-ness has sadly distracted me from being able to focus on my baby coming and this pregnancy as much as I would have liked.

But for those interested or other pregnant friends wanting to relate, here's what's been happening.

Trimester two:

• After being nauseous through trimester one, I finally felt like myself again!
• My biggest craving was steak fries.
• I could literally feel the right side of my stomach get hard while the left stayed squishy because the baby was growing all over my right uterus.  (Yes there's two...you'll have to back track my blogs to read about that).

Trimester three:

• So much for feeling like myself again!  This pregnancy has been substantially more difficult than my first.  My friend says I'm experiencing "second baby syndrome."  Or I'm just more out of shape?!
• The back pain I had with Joaquin from a crooked belly and a baby crunched all on my right side has returned with a vengeance for baby number 2.
• It hurst to walk because my muscles feel so sore all the time.
• Pepcid AC is working much better for my acid reflux than Tums...not perfect but better.
• I feel bigger than I ever did with Joaquin but people still say I look small and I measure small...believe me that doesn't matter, pregnant is pregnant!
• I wear dresses now...on weekdays!
• Traveling in the third trimester is nerve wracking but totally doable.  Sure I got motion sickness on my flights at 30 weeks and my feet swelled like balloons on a two day road trip at 36 weeks but both trips were more than worth it.  Watching one of my best friends get married in New York and then visiting my mother in law in Utah were both necessary and lovely vacations.
• Two of my doctors have been almost positive the baby is head down and up until two days ago I was planning for a VBAC!
• Two days ago, the ultrasound found the baby was breech and it's looking like I'll have another c-scetion.  The downside is the more c-sections you have, the more scar tissue you get which increases risk of rupturing each pregnancy and I want more pregnancies (but really I know plenty of people who have had plenty of c-sections without rupturing).  The upside is we can schedule our c-section and plan for exactly when this little girl will come!  I got to have Joaquin at 39 weeks and IF the doctors let me do that again, I will have this baby out of me in two weeks!
• At the beginning of my pregnancy, I switched doctors just to have the baby at the hospital 30 seconds from my house.  How convenient for my husband to take my son back and forth!
• Last week, I received a call that the hospital 30 seconds away is closing their labor and delivery unit and I now have to deliver at the hospital further away.  BUT this further hospital is opening a brand new mother-baby center partnering with Childrens Hospital of MN on July 27 and my husband is hoping we can schedule our c-section opening day and be the first baby delivered there!  Is that wishful thinking or will it really happen?  Time will tell once we sort that out.  
• I'm so grateful to everyone who has given me hand me down baby supplies and bought be me new clothes for this baby girl!  While I started with just a few things I saved from Joaquin, I now believe I have everything I'll need for a baby girl and her wardrobe is looking adorable!

Well I just wanted to document some memories so there you have it.  Let's hope my next blog about this baby is my birth story!  Here's a few shots from our maternity session with Megan Ashley Photography MN.