We are not alone.

On this beautiful Sabbath morning, I thought I'd share the talk I gave in church last week.  It has some beautiful quotes and scripture.

Often times in our life we notice coincidences or times we just got lucky or we write on social media, #blessed.  But today I’m telling you it’s more than that.  I want to illustrate how the Lord has had a hand in my life . He is with us every step of the way through both our trying times and our good times.  It’s important that we show gratitude and ackowledge his hand.

Psalm 100 speaks about gratitude really beautifully

 1 Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands.

 2 Serve the Lord with gladness: come before his presence with singing.

 3 Know ye that the Lord he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

 4 Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.

 5 For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.

Some time over 5 years ago, I received a job offer to teach at a little red brick school in the mountains.  I was at an inner city elementary school teaching in Minneapolis at the time and was ready for a slower change of pace.  At the same time, I had just begun dating a new guy.  I flew out for my interview and was really in love with this school and the mountains that I didn’t have where I’m from in MN.  As I flew home from my interview on the plane, I sat next to this woman and I told  her all about my interview AND about the guy I was dating and how he was conflicting my decision to take this great job.  She told me I would feel peace in which decision I made.  She told me, “I think you already know what to do.”  Well, I was not about to give up my dream job for some guy…but I felt no peace in accepting that position.  I stayed in MN and continued dating this guy and then we got married! I emailed this woman on the plane to tell her what happened because I knew she’d be ecstatic but she never wrote back.  I’ve even searched for her on facebook like a creepy little stalker. I never found her or heard from her again even though we exchanged contact info on that plane.  I swear now she was an angel sent to sit with me and tell me “that I would feel peace in my decision.”  I learned that the Lord doesn’t want me to be confused and I was confused about taking that job and I wasn’t confused about marrying my husband. 

Elder Scott has taught us that sometimes our decisions can be made with a confirming assurance. He said: “you can feel the peace, comfort, and assurance that confirm that your decision is right.”

So my husband and I lived the American dream and bought a brand new beautiful home, got a dog, had a baby, etc.  And then my husband randomly saw a job opening in the Dominican Republic, the country where he was born.  Now who’s going to just up and leave to a third world country with a  three month old baby and both of us had jobs in Minnesota that we would need to quit?  Just apply for fun, just interview and see, we thought, no big deal.  And then we got the offer!  How were we going to quit both our jobs?  I was a teacher on maternity leave at the time!  You can’t just quit on maternity leave. What were we going to do with our new house and all of our furniture?  It was much too expensive to ship back and forth between countries.  Then,  a family in our ward offered to rent our home while we were living abroad and if that wasn’t a sign to go, I don’t know what is.  Both our jobs understood the opportunity and told us we were welcome back anytime.  It truly felt like the Lord was making a way for us to take this opportunity.

President Hinckley has said: I too believe that God will always make a way where there is no way. I believe that if we will walk in obedience to the commandments of God, if we will follow the counsel of the priesthood, He will open a way even where there appears to be no way.”

Once we got to Domincan Republic, it was tremendously hard.  I didn’t speak much Spanish (I do now) , I was not a student, I was not a missionary.  I was a woman with a new baby who had to learn how to live in a 3^rd word country with no Target store to buy my neccessities and where I didn’t speak the language.  I had to learn where to grocery shop, how to pay bills, how to get around walking, by taxi or in the public cars that crammed as many people in as they could without seatbelts all with my small baby while my husband went to work.  How could I make friends when I couldn’t even communicate?  I cried a lot.  As time went on, our ward became the greatest blessing in our life.  I was called to YW and had to teach…in Spanish!  I taught English classes to the community.  Another young womens leader became my best friend and she practically brought me tracting through the city each Sunday to visit the young women in their homes.  I became happy by doing service.

I learned I can do hard things living there. 

Phillipians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

But the best part was for as much service as I did that helped me find happiness, the people there served me more. I needed them.  I needed my possy of youth to walk me home every night after mutual or English class after dark.  I needed friends from the ward to come over and have FHE with us.  They took us in, they helped us with whatever we needed when they had so little .  They had tiny homes where you could see the rafters holding the roof up from the inside, concrete floors and curtains hanging for a bedroom door.  Yet they were some of the happiest people I’ll ever know. I was a changed person because of their humility and gratefulness to the Father.

Richard C. Edgely reminds us: “Yes, the strength of the Church is in the millions of humble members striving every day to do the will of the Savior—day by day, one step at a time. These humble members come from all nationalities, all social strata, and every economic background. They include those of the highest educational backgrounds as well as those of the humblest who live in the smallest hamlets in the most remote areas of the world—all having hearts throbbing with a vital testimony of Jesus Christ and a desire to serve the Lord.”

Now finally I’ll tell you, how did we end up in Texas?  After living in the Dominican Republic, we returned to MN for a year and a half and quickly rememberd  how cold Minnesota was.  So we thought and thought about states all over the country that were warm and Texas made the list! There are better housing prices and lower taxes here in comparison as well.  Dallas is a huge city with a great food scene so…why not?  Why not move to Texas?  This decision did not feel as “led” as the Dominican Republic decision but our prayer became, “just stop this if it isn’t right”.  Well we’re here and haven’t fallen flat on our faces yet so I think the Lord is ok with it and there is a reason.  We did not have a job re-locating us here or school or anything.  We just wanted to come so we both applied to jobs until one of us found something, we got an apartment and here we are!  And so far, we really love it here!

Jeffrey R. Holland has said: “God expects you to have enough faith and determination and enough trust in Him to keep moving, keep living, keep rejoicing. In fact, He expects you not simply to face the future (that sounds pretty grim and stoic); He expects you to embrace and shape the future--to love it and rejoice in it and delight in your opportunities. God is anxiously waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as He always has. But He can't if you don't pray, and He can't if you don't dream. In short, He can't if you don't believe.”

It was a leap of faith for us to be here and still feels that way as not everything in our plan to be here is figured out yet but we have faith it will be soon.

Sometimes God answers prayers with no response.  Elder Richard G. Scott has said: When you are living worthily and your choice is consistent with the Savior’s teachings and you need to act,” proceed with trust.”

All in all, The Lord knows us and he knows it will be ok even when we don’t.  We have had to put our faith in the Lord through this move as we were a little spontaneous but the prayer of asking the Lord to stop this if it isn’t right has been helpful because it hasn’t been stopped.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf has said:

Brothers and sisters, the most powerful Being in the universe is the Father of your spirit. He knows you. He loves you with a perfect love.

With all stories I just told, there is no way for this not to be true in my life!  Heavenly Father is the Father of my spirit.  I am his.  He loves me. And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Decorating Dallas

I've got a long way to go before becoming the designer of my dreams but I sure have fun practicing each time I move.  Some of the key words I wanted to incorporate in our Dallas apartment were: modern, open, functional, industrial, clean, and comfortable.  I wanted the home to say, "for adults but kids live here." The motto for our stuff has been, if there is no place for it, it can't stay.  And finally, I wanted to include my husband in our decorating.  I have dreams of more bling and glam in my design but that doesn't really fit Jesus so we agreed on most things together (minus the cow pillow in the living room...I think the thought of living in Texas made me buy that!).  I'm not saying I accomplished all of my key words like a pro but I do like what we have come up with.  

Want to see?!

The main living area is where I really imagined some of my key words from above.  I'm particularly happy with the children's book/toy storage from Ikea because of the modern, shiny white shelving and those baskets! My couch pillows just came today from Amazon and that makes me happy too (even...no, I mean especially, the cow!)

The dining area:  I needed something above that pass through window so I found that cute little "love more" sign matching the arrow pattern of my couch pillows.  I love the industrial, steel looking dining chairs from Target. And I'm pleased with the photos on the wall of our family and the Santo Domingo, LDS Temple.

Bedroom: Right now it looks straight out of a furniture store but I think some accent pillows on the bed and maybe some art above the headboard will perk it right up one day.  The design blogs and Pinterest say all the rage is to get pieces that aren't matchy matchy but with moving so much, I ain't got time for that and just wanted something done! For now, I love how masculine this room looks as this was one of the rooms I especially paid attention to Jesus's ideas and not just mine.  Also, our kids are all up in our life 24/7 so I wanted the bedroom to be a reminder of just Jesus and I so when you notice the pictures, notice the no kids allowed.

The kid's room could use some design but for now it's white, simple, has space to play, and includes the drawings of each of child at one month. Remember before Joaquin was born, I designed that awesome nursery, painted the crib blue, re-finished the dresser etc. etc. (with the help of my friends)?  Well, after moving so much, I just didn't have time for that this time around. Khaleesi got the shaft in decorating but I like this simple apartment room she shares with her brother with matching beds...again I say one day, for when I go all out on a kid's room again!

Bathroom: Double vanities and some pics on the wall from Dominican Republic, what more could I want?!  A modern tile walk in shower? Sure but that's beside the point.  Our apartment is pretty old but they've done a nice job updating it with granite counters and faux wood floors.

Those are indeed Texas stars holding up that shower curtain,

Kitchen: I didn't do any decorating in here but don't the white cupboards and granite counters pretty the place up?

Grandma Gloria - I love you.

Funerals are filled with sadness, feelings of loss and the feelings of missing someone.  At Grandma Gloria's funeral today, there were also feelings of relief, gratefulness, and even happiness. The running joke in the family was grandma greeting her best friend on the other side while grandpa, also waiting for her, probably had to stand in line!  This best friend of hers, known to us kids as "Aunt Lorraine" was her friend since childhood whom she gossiped with every night even into their eighties.  It's the same thought I had as soon as I heard of grandma's passing; I thought of the excitement she must be feeling to see everyone!  

She was the grandma I thought would live forever because she was so busy and active and never stopped.  Grandma even continued working at the Catholic elementary school until she was at least 80 and if that's not a sign of someone who never stops, I don't know what is.

Before I rave about her, I want to note how beautiful Catholic funerals are.  The wake, the church, the precession line and the cemetery, it was all so symbolic.  It was celebratory of her life and a way to bless her soul that has passed.  I was very impressed and felt close to the Spirit of the Lord and to her through the whole thing.

Grandma Gloria was the cutest little Italian lady.  She was so sweet and loved my family more than I know.  She's the mother of my dad and has always been there for my mom as she stuck by my dad's side while he got sick.  She loved us, her grandkids, more than anything.  She kept photos in her wallet to show her friends and I know how much she loved showing the photos of her great grand kids too! Several people at the funeral said they heard all about me because grandma loved talking about us.  One of the greatest things she ever did was when my mom was in a car accident nearly losing her life and she came to Minnesota from Chicago to care for us, cook and clean and hold down the fort while mom was away.  What a sacrifice.

More of my memories include:

• Her home smelling as tobacco from my grandpa's pipe and while that scent faded after he passed, I still have that childhood memory of her home.

• There was always a candy dish available just like her mom, my great grandma, always had.

• Her Italian cooking from calzones to pizzelle cookies.  The other day, I ate an Argentina empanada and the dough tasted exactly like her calzone dough and I think I found the secret.  I "think" she added a few anis seeds in there??  This taste was a sweet memory to have right after her passing.  

• The lamb cakes she'd mail us every Easter...literally a pound cake in the shape of a lamb!

• I remember her dining room table with the big mirrored wall, where we would all sit and eat every time we got the grandkids together at her condo.  She was at the table least of all because she was always so busy cooking and serving everyone else.

• Her books: she had a fully stocked bookshelf and went to the library often.

• She loved to watch old movies with actors like Humphrey Bogart and Doris Day.  I don't recall her favorites but it was always the black and white films on at her place.

• Grandma was my family history rep as she helped me through school genealogy projects and loved to talk about her family members and show me the boxes full of black and white photos. 

• She was a night owl, from when we would visit Illinois and stay with her to the phone calls I'd over hear with my mom at 11pm.

• Grandma was great at speaking her mind and if you did something stupid, she would tell you.  That's not always a pleasant memory but in hindsight it was needed.  The same goes for politics and baseball playing on her tiny kitchen TV. You could often hear her yelling at the politicians and sports players for their stupidity.  One of my favorite memories was when we ate at "Sweet Tomato" and she made it clear how dumb she thought the place was to pay $8 for a bowl of lettuce.  That's how I feel too about the overpriced salad bar.

• She was a great listener and shoulder to cry on.  While she did this almost every night with my mom, I too remember talking to her about a break up once and her being there for me! 

• I love that my hazel eyes come from her as well as my animated mannerisms and talking with my hands.  I learned today that was definitely an "Italian" thing.  

I'm so grateful Grandma Gloria has been in my life.  My list of memories could go on much longer.  I love her! Funerals are a hard realization that someone is gone but my faith tells me otherwise.  I know I will see her again, I know that she is now out of physical pain and she is happy.  As cliche as that sounds, I felt it stronger than ever this week.  

The Zeck grandkids

2016: Love more.

My friend/cousin-in-law Karen, put this beautiful little post on her Facebook today reflecting on 2015 and then she posed two questions at the end.  She asked:

1. What did you accomplish in 2015?
2. What lesson have you learned in 2015?
And I'd like to add:
3. What are your goals for 2016?
I would love to hear your responses!

I've gratefully accomplished a lot this year from having our daughter, to moving cross country to re-entering the career field.  The things I've learned are about to put me on my soap box and I'm about to say things I would have never said just a few years ago...

First, I learned to not let fear hold you back.
Second, I learned that you can't wait for the world to give you what you want, you have to go and get it.

Moving to Texas and re-entering my career were (and still are) both scary things.  I honestly don't know if I could have done it had we not made a crazy move to the Dominican republic a few years back. After doing that, I feel like I can do anything in terms of moving.  We wanted to live somewhere warm and re-establish our lives somewhere after leaving the country and returning again.  So we chose Texas for the weather and housing costs.  However we did not have a job willing to re-locate us.  My husband still doesn't have a job here (although he is working remotely from Minneapolis for now).  If that ends before he finds something new, we will be taking a pay cut to live off my salary alone. We also own a home in Minnesota.  We JUST had a new baby! So many reasons to not move!

But we went anyway.  I re-entered the career field after being a stay at home mom (which I loved) so we'd at least have a salary.  We packed up our stuff, ordered a moving truck, took our two kids and our dog and drove down the country.  My point and my soap box is if you want a change in your life, go and get it!  What's holding you back?  You have a good job where you are?  You don't want a pay cut? You own a home?  You have kids?  We had all that too...but you can do whatever you want!  Years ago, we got married, bought a home, had a baby and thought we'd live that nice settled down American dream.  But that all changed for us and we wouldn't have it any other way.  We have grown so much through our moving even though it hasn't been all adventurous and fun. It has been stressful, scary, emotional and even a financial headache. Somehow things have still worked out. It's still important to be responsible and live within your means but ask yourselves how would your decisions change if you removed fear from the equation? One of our biggest excuses to not get what we want is fear. At least that has been a huge excuse in my life and I know I'm not the only one. So again, what I've learned, is you can't wait for the world to give you what you want or for the world to come to you (like a promotion or a job willing to re-locate you for example). Sometimes you just have to go and get it!  Make a way and ditch the fear.   I guess that's my pep talk for your next big life change...or even a small life-change.

So what are my goals for 2016?  I found this cute little sign to put over my pass through window separating the kitchen and dining room.  And it sums up perfectly what I want to do in 2016.

Love More.

I hope this can start at home especially with my husband.  He needs to know I appreciate him. By doing that, our kids will see the love we have for each other and in turn they will see how much we, as a couple, love them.  I want to love my Savior and my Father in Heaven more.  I want to show them by reading my scriptures more and serving others more.  I want to love people that have hurt me by forgiving and taking less offense. I want to love my family back home and extended family more by making an extra call or sending a hand written note. I firmly believe if I love more, I will be happier and less stressed.  Clearly this is a life long goal but at least I can focus and reflect on it for the new year.  Goals that are measurable seem easier to attain for me. I don't have a plan on how I'm going to measure this one yet but seeing the sign every time I walk in my home is going to be my motivation so I can't forget.

So humor me and take a moment to ponder your year and answer the questions above.

Happy New Year 2016 Friends and Family!

Christmas in Houston

Thanks to this family right here, we had a wonderful Christmas!  The guy on the right is Jesus's cousin, Uki. Next to him is his wife, Karen and her family. Since we just moved to Dallas, it worked out great for us to go and spend Christmas with Karen's family in Houston.   We've always loved Jesus's cousin and his wife so much that now living only 3.5 hours apart is very exciting!

Christmas began with PJs and El Salvadorian sandwiches.  How lucky am I to keep getting new Latin family members?!  A Mexican sister in law, A Dominican husband, a Peruvian aunt and now an El Salvadorian cousin in law!  I love learning about different cultures, practicing my Spanish and eating all of their traditional foods.  That last part's my favorite!

The next day we drove to the island of Galveston, TX on the gulf to see a big lights display at Moody Gardens.  Oh but first the food, here's the traditional El Salvadorian breakfast with beans, sweet plantains, eggs and sour cream.

The weekend continued with a visit to Houston's China town, Joaquin and Uki playing in the pool, and a local Mexican taco spot with these amazing carne asada fries.  Thanks Karen and Uki, next time we will see you here in Dallas!

Read the caption of this sign posted around China town.  While this may be serious, I still laughed at the warning of he will "make you fall in love" with him.

Dallas: What I like about you.

Dallas: What I like about you:

What do they say in Real Estate? Location, location, location!  Choosing our first home here in Dallas was tricky because we've never been here and Jesus is still working remotely so we don't know where he will be working later.  We based our decision off of my job location and apartments.com.  I think we got lucky because so far we love it!  Our apartment is nothing fancy although I do like the finishes of faux wood floors and granite counters. The dim lighting inside is a bummer but overall the location is great.  We are close to shops, restaurants, diversity and really are in the heart of the city!  We are just blocks away from all different neighborhoods and it's so fun exploring everything Dallas has to offer. Tonight we drove to the Highland Park neighborhood with multi-million dollar mansions to see the professionally done Christmas lights and horse drawn carriage tours passing through the neighborhood.  None of my photos do justice of these beautiful streets but you can always google it.

Even Biscuit came to see the lights

Can you see the two nutcrackers in the entry?  So many houses had these and I was obsessed!

The next thing I love is the school I work at.  I do not have enough good things to say about it.  I will say that everyone makes sure I know it is the exception to Dallas public schools and it's own class.  I hear from random people I meet that ask me where I work as well as from co-workers that it's one of the best and I ended up in the right place.  Granted I've worked at schools with much less money and programming and I've loved them too but let me tell you why this school is so amazing.  

First, the PTA.  A day has not gone by where there have not been parent volunteers in the cafeteria, in the copy room, in the teacher's lounge doing projects or helping in the garden.  There are volunteers in the building every. single. day.  The teachers had a paper Christmas tree in the hall full of sticky notes of items they could use in their classrooms.  It was designed so parents could take a sticky note off of the tree and buy that item for the teachers.  Within an hour, all of the sticky notes were gone.  The whole school had holiday parties for winter break and the teachers didn't have to lift a finger.  The PTA set up tables, provided treats, took out the trash and planned the whole thing.  I've really never seen a PTA like this.  

Second, the garden.  The garden is huge and beautiful and since I have not gone out there for a mini photo shoot yet,  I wish I could describe it's beauty.  There are rows upon rows of crops each used for a different class.  Classes are out there all the time taking care of the soil, harvesting broccoli, cabbage or whatever else, watching wild flowers, visiting the chicken coup...the list goes on and on of what happens in the garden.  Being the Garden coordinator and still having a bit of an un-defined position, teachers have taken it upon themselves to invite me to the garden to help their classes harvest or get supplies and I have loved every second of that part of my job.  My job entails much more but sometimes I wish it was just that fun part!

The cabbage we harvested

Other great things about my school include the deaf education program and bilingual program.  I see teachers, students and teachers aids signing daily.  When I ask teachers how they learned to sign, they tell me just from working at this school!  Isn't that amazing?  I can't wait to see what I will learn.  The bilingual program includes several dual-language classrooms of Spanish and English and that is exciting for me because I love practicing my Spanish any chance I get.  The last thing I'll share about the school just as a tidbit of information is, did you know Texas schools still do the Pledge of allegiance?  But after that, we do the Texas pledge, talk about Texas pride!  I'm still learning that one...

The next thing I love about Dallas is my ward at church.  We may not have callings yet or have hung out with other families yet but people have been so welcoming and we are excited to make friends.  The part I really love though is that it's a bilingual ward.  When we sing hymns, you can sing in English or Spanish and both hymnals are always provided.  Prayers are also done in either language. Testimonies are given in either language.  Again, any chance I get to practice mi espanol is alright by me!

The people truly are friendly in Dallas.  Last night one of our apartment neighbors, who we don't even know yet, invited us to her son's birthday at Chuck E. Cheese because we have kids the same age.  This family is from Peru and everyone at the party spoke Spanish so again I practiced.  We were so happy to be invited and it was great to meet some of our neighbors. Chuck E. Cheese is amazing for little kids FYI.  We also met an older Spanish woman who babysits the younger brother of the birthday boy and one other child.  She lives in our apartment complex and we talked to her about the possibility of babysitting Joaquin. We have been having a bit of an adjustment and a rough few months ahead of both Jesus and I working full time while he is also trying to watch the kids at home.  It would be so great if Joaquin could go to a babysitter/daycare/school/something for at least while Jesus has meetings during the week. Khaleesi is still an easy, sweet little baby that can handle dad working from home. For a three year old, it's not as easy.  With this babysitter option, Joaquin could get social interaction with other kids, learn some Spanish and it would be convenient for Jesus to drop him off and pick him up while he's working.  Who knows what we will all decide but we are looking forward to finding something to help us all through the next few months until I'm off work in the summer!

Because we live in the city, we have also found great food.  Thai, sushi, bbq, southern, it's all here and we are enjoying it!  Every time we move to a new place, I also get a new resolve to start cooking again so I've surprisingly even been enjoying that...for now... ;)

Sleep!

Initially my blog started out as mommy blog but has developed into so many things!  Today I want to go back to talking about motherhood and particularly one of my children.  A mommy confession if you will.

A good year and a half ago my family and I returned to the States from living in Dominican Republic.  We lived in my mom's basement and she had two spacious rooms down there being one for us and one for Joaquin.  I remember Joaquin sleeping in his crib briefly after our return but then I remember letting him sleep with us because he was sick or something...well that began a six month long battle!  For 6 months, we battled with him to sleep in his room but he was afraid of monsters, crocodiles, the dark or just wanted to cuddle (hard for me to resist the cutest little boy saying "I want to cuddle you!")  We tried monster spray, laying with him until he fell asleep, crying it out, a big boy bed, letting him choose his own "Thomas the Train" bedding, enforcing a bedtime routine  etc. etc. and finally I confess, we gave up!  Joaquin has slept in our bed the last year and a half!  He even refused to nap without me laying next to him.  Now this wasn't the whole problem.  Everyone slept great and we cuddled and we had a nice king size bed. The real problem was he no longer had a bedtime.  He would stay up with us and this got to be very late.  Granted he slept in in the mornings but can you imagine putting kids to bed at a certain time and then having time to yourself or with your spouse kid free for a couple hours each night?  Doesn't that sound nice?  Oh wait...that's probably your life since you're not the one writing this confession so I'm happy for you.

But guess what?  Ever since we moved Joaquin has been in his own bed!  And since we moved into our apartment, his own room!  It really is so nice to have a bedtime and kid free time in the evenings...oh and nap time too! We began our trip to Texas staying with family and there he slept in a toddler bed and loved it.  Back in MN, his big boy bed was a twin size with this annoying guard rail and I think that was part of the problem.  He probably didn't love that big bed all alone.  Once we got to our apartment here in Dallas, we bought him a little toddler bed and put it in his room and he loves it!  He even says "I'm going to bed" and goes in his room all by himself. What happened?!  Little Khaleesi shares a room with Joaquin and they both sleep soundly through the night.  I'm so happy.

Please don't let this blog jinx my life!

And for parents battling anything with your little ones, know that everything is a phase. :)