Testimony

I was asked to speak in front of the congregation at church today and I wanted to share my words in my blog.

My testimony has been weighing on my mind and here is what I wrote.

Testimony

What is it, how do we get it and how do we keep it?

What is it?

Definition: THE LDS website defines testimony as “a spiritual witness given by the Holy Ghost.”

Bonnie L. Oscarson gave a talk and stated three points that should be essential to our testimonies.

First, we need to acknowledge the centrality of God our Eternal Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, to our faith and salvation. Jesus Christ is our Savior and Redeemer.

Second, we need to understand the need for the restoration of the doctrine, organization, and keys of authority in these latter days.

And third, we need to study and understand temple ordinances and covenants. The temple holds a place at the very center of our most sacred beliefs, and the Lord asks that we attend, ponder, study, and find personal meaning and application individually.

I think those three things being a belief in Christ, a belief in the restoration and a belief in the temple and its’ power are great places to start building a testimony.

Now the best way to really learn about our testimonies is to ponder our own testimony and quietly reflect on our beliefs personally.  So since I have about 15 minutes to speak, I’m going to sit down and give you the 15 minutes to quietly ponder your own testimony…(This was my joke where I actually sat back down to make people think I was serious and then I got back up and proceeded with my talk. I’m a dork!)

How do we get a testimony?

We can gain our testimony the same way the Prophet Joseph Smith gained his.  By following the scripture in James 1:5

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

Moroni 10:4-5 in the book of Mormon also tells us how to get a testimony.

And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

 5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

Once we’ve studied and searched, we need to ponder and pray and invite the Spirit to testify of truth to us.  I testify that the Holy Ghost will indeed do this.

And now what I think personally is the hardest part, How do we keep our testimony?

Let me explain:

This past year brought many challenges and a lot of stress in my life. Without going into detail, there were deaths, family members falling ill. Difficult financial surpirses, and the trials that come with helping our parents with their lives as they age and need financial or medical advice, etc etc with each new trial happening just days or weeks apart one after the other causing me a lot of anxiety.  All of these things even put a strain on our marriage just in the way that when so many hard things happen right after the next, it’s easy to feel a little tension in the home.  All of the physical, emotional and mental stress caused my spirituality and even testimony, to take a hit. 

I think we all have spiritual gifts whether it’s the gift of faith, or a belief in the power of prayer, we have gifts that guide us and help us to be stronger spiritually.  I’ve often felt blessed that my gift was to feel the Lord’s hand in my life.  I’ve chosen to take several leaps of faith whether it was declining a dream job for something better or moving out of the country when I was a brand new mom. No matter the circumstance, I’ve always known that the Lord had a plan for me.  That I needed to do his will because he knew better than I and this included doing things that were hard. 

But this past year, I did not feel that the things that were happening in my life were the Lord’s plan. I was angry.  I had several weeks where I didn’t want to go to church and sometimes I didn’t.  I finally decided I needed some Priesthood intervention and I had a little chat with the Bishop.  He assured me that we all go through spiritual highs and lows in our life and I was just at a point that I recognized to be lower and that was a normal part of life. 

But the question is how did I get out?   How did I hang on to my testimony so that I didn’t push the Spirit further away than I already had?

Gordon B. Hinckley reminded us that every convert to the church needs three things: a friend, a responsibility, and nurturing with “the good word of God.”  This does not just apply to new converts.  This applies to all of us and this applied to me when I felt my spirituality and my testimony weaken.

 All I can say is thank heavens I had those three things in my life.  I am grateful for my calling in the Primary because not only did it force me to come to church to teach my class but I got to study the Book of Mormon and teach some of the most basic and precious truths of the gospel to the 9 and 10 year olds.  Everything I taught were things I needed to re-learn.  And their testimonies impressed me and strengthened my own.  There were times I could feel the Spirit in our class and I could tell that my students felt it with me and that truly helped me hang on to my testimony. 

I’m also grateful for the friends I’ve made in the ward that invited me out or sent me a text when they knew I was going through a lot. I needed all those times and they didn’t even know the extent of my trials.  They were just being good friends.

Another great way to keep our testimonies strong is to not forget.  Don’t forget where you’ve been and what the Lord has brought you through and done for you before.  Maybe that means keeping a journal to look back on those times.  Do whatever you need to do to remember who you are and to see that the Lord’s hand has always been and more importantly will continue to be, in your life.

Helaman 5:12 “And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall

Elder Ronald A. Rasband gave a talk in Octobers last conference titled Lest Thou Forget:

He said: “Recall, especially in times of crisis, when you felt the Spirit and your testimony was strong; remember the spiritual foundations you have built. I promise that if you will do this, avoiding things that do not build and strengthen your testimony or that mock your beliefs, those precious times when your testimony prospered will return again to your memory through humble prayer and fasting. I assure you that you will once again feel the safety and warmth of the gospel of Jesus Christ.”

Elder Rasband also shared other ways to keep our testimonies strong. He reminded us to ponder the scriptures and remember the thoughts and feelings we get as we read them, attend church meetings, partake of the sacrament and reach out to others in Christlike service. These things will all bring us closer to the Savior and help us to keep our testimony strong.

Elder Ballard gave a talk last conference titled “to whom shall we go?” He seemed to be referring to those who are debating leaving the church or who have left or who are just struggling in their faith.  I think this quote applies if our testimony is struggling as well.

“In the end, each one of us must respond to the Savior’s question: “Will ye also go away?”⁹ We all have to search for our own answer to that question. For some, the answer is easy; for others, it is difficult. I don’t pretend to know why faith to believe comes easier for some than for others. I’m just so grateful to know that the answers are always there, and if we seek them—really seek with real intent and with full purpose of a prayerful heart—we will eventually find the answers to our questions as we continue on the gospel path. In my ministry, I have known those who have drifted and returned after their trial of faith.”

I like that reminder that it’s ok to even have questions in our testimony but the answers are there as we continue on the gospel path.  The Lord doesn’t want us to be confused, he wants us to know that he loves us and has a plan for us and that holding onto our testimonies will lead us back to him.

I believe that and I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.