To Become as Little Children

In that moment, I felt so sad.  I felt like I could do better but knew that I wouldn't always.  I wanted to take it back but I couldn't and now those five little words have been repeated multiple times.  "Mommy, don't yell at me."  Ugh...I'm human, I get mad, I have a two year old running outside the house before I'm dressed, refusing to follow simple directions and not giving me five minutes of peace from the second I wake up to the second I lie down for bed.  But amidst all of that, I can't tell you how much I have learned and will continue to learn from my little boy.  As we sat down at the table for lunch together, I told him I was sorry for yelling.  His reply was, "I'm sorry I made you mad.  I'm sorry I made you yell at me."  This may have hurt more than the five little words in the beginning because I didn't want him to feel sorry for my choice to yell. I tried to explain that he didn't make me yell and it was my fault but there's only so much deep comprehension that can occur at his age.  Don't get me wrong...I know toddlers drive can us to our wits end but this stung.

Joaquin is wise beyond his years. He is so incredibly sweet and has one of the biggest hearts I've ever met.  As we played outside after lunch and drew with chalk, what else did he ask me to draw than hearts of course?!

After chalk was nap time and while he said "No, I don't want to take a nap," he said instead, "I want to cuddle" and grabbed a blanket on the couch to be with me. While he is still learning to follow directions, his heart has always been sweet. He says excuse me, please and thank you and he loves to hug everyone goodbye.  And forgiveness is a whole other issue!  Joaquin forgives me every time I mess up and never stays mad at me.  How does he do it?!  There's a reason the scriptures teach us to become as little children.  Matthew 18:3 "And said, verily I say unto you, except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven."  These small children have the qualities of being patient, kind, meek, humble and more.  I saw this a lot teaching kindergartners as a teacher but I see it even more in my own child since I'm with him all day.  I know other parents and guardians of small children are learning all these same things.  I also know one day Joaquin will have to choose to put forth these qualities of love more than he may need to now.  Maybe I was sweet like him as a small child too and now everyday it's like it takes a conscious effort to continually develop all the named qualities.  

I don't know the whole point of this post other than how much it all struck me today and how much I really am learning about patience, love and forgiveness through the eyes and mind of a child, particularly my child. While it's difficult to see myself make mistakes and to learn the hard lessons, I am more grateful I am learning them at all!  

Wisconsin Dells toddler Spectacular 2015!

My friends are so brave.  So brave that when Jesus and I invited them to share a three bedroom condo in WI Dells with several other families and seven children under age 5 combined, they said YES!  We ended up with four families totaling 8 adults and 7 children.  We stayed at Wilderness on the Lake in a very spacious 3 bedroom loft with fireplaces, a jacuzzi, sun porch and fully equipped kitchen all overlooking the beautiful lake.  This resort has 8 waterparks in total so we spent the weekend hopping around and enjoying all the pools.  It was hard to get on much of the adult water sides due to watching all the little ones but I think the kids had the most fun of all! As did all of us adults. Here are some of our photos.

Feeding time

I'm 32!

It's funny to think I'm 32 because while that does sound a little old...it doesn't seem to affect me like 30 or 31 did.  Maybe I'm just over it and ready to be in my 30s!  Basically I'm saying this birthday didn't have a milestone feeling and it just felt normal which I'm ok with.  I want to thank everyone who took the time to tell me happy birthday in all the many different ways whether by technology, phone or in person!  It's a special feeling to feel loved on your birthday.  My kind husband even bought me Sigma makeup brushes and a bag of jelly beans from his work that I'm addicted to.

Still practicing with my Sigma brushes but so far I am favoring the kabukis with the rounded heads.  The  f84 works great for contouring with bronzer and the f82 is a great buffing/blending brush for me.

Here's how the day unfolded: My little family rolled our of bed at 8am and hit the ground runnin'!  Jesus set off for work and Joaquin and I had a bright and early dermatologist appointment.  No, my son does not have Michael Jackson disease, in case you've noticed and have been wondering.  But yes, he has been losing pigmentation.  Turns out it's eczema and not permanent!  Hallelujah on the not permanent part.  His tan skin is just too beautiful to lose!  He tends to break out in red eczema spots and then when the redness fades, so does his pigment.  We've tried many creams and a prescription shampoo and it was nice to finally get a prescription from the dermatologist who should have more knowledge in this area than all the other family doctors we've seen.  The cream should take away the redness and lessen the loss of pigmentation.  Turns out only the sun can bring the pigmentation back but it will come back.  It may take years but it will come back!  Then we ran some errands at Target, went to the mall to replace my iPhone screen protector and stopped at Sephora to get my present from my mom.  We got the Urban Decay Electric palette and all you have to do is google or Pinterest it to see how amazing it is!  I've wanted it for months but had to gain some confidence in my makeup artistry before branching out and I'm finally ready!  Then of course, we finished our time at the mall in the play place.  Here's my first colorful and relatively basic look with the electric palette but there are so many more looks to come!

Then in the evening, I took my husband on a surprise date!  I signed us up for a grilling class/BBQ party at Kitchen Window in Uptown.  We learned how to use a charcoal and gas grill as well as a smoker.  We made several delicious recipes using all the different cooking methods and got to eat every bit of it!  It was a really fun and new experience for us.  Something Jesus said we should even do more often...if it wasn't so expensive, I definitely would!  But perfect for a b-day celebration.  Here's what we made in photos...all delicious!

Prepping a marinade

Steaks fresh off the grill

Steak slider with sun dried tomato aioli

Chicken wings going in the smoker

Marinating the lamb chops

Smoked and grilled chicken wings with parmesan herb marinade

Grilled lamb chops with tzatziki sauce

Grilled white bean, feta, red onion and yogurt sauce flatbread

And now it's finally time for bed!  Happy Birthday to me, thanks to all of you!