How could I ever wrap my head around being cut open while I was awake? I know I didn't have to look but was it really going to be pain free? This procedure terrified me but I had to do it to deliver our breech baby. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I believe that worthy men in the church have Priesthood authority to act in the name of God here upon the earth. I am so grateful for the night before the surgery when my husband could give me a Priesthood blessing with my mom at my side to comfort me for the next day. Probably one of the most special experiences of our marriage so far.
The next morning, my mom, Jesus and I all headed to the hospital. Luckily I had a great nurse who got me prepped and stayed with me and took care of the baby in the surgery. My poor mom was more nervous than I and as she sat in the prep room with us, luckily the nurse asked if I wanted everyone in the room or if it should just be my husband. I was able to say just my husband because my mom being stressed only added to the stress of my own. The nurse sensed that and told me that's why she asked me before going any further. Mom was able to come and say bye to me before I went into surgery and then she waited in the waiting room and was there after the baby was born.
Next they took me to get the epidural. This was a somewhat painful shot in the back but mostly because it lasted for what felt like five long minutes putting it in! However it was nothing I couldn't handle but the doctors worked it up to be so much more! I had one nurse telling me to rest my head on her and she kept reminding me to breathe while the anesthesiologist was in my back telling me to listen to him and to arch this way or that! It was like a big production when I wish they could have just given me the shot and not made it so dramatic and I would have been fine. Next my husband arrived all prepped and looking adorable in his scrubs just like a doctor. He held my hand and rubbed my head and reminded me I was ok as I was getting shot up with more drugs causing me to shake uncontrollably mostly in my arms. This was scary but the kind anesthesiologist who sat by my head let me know all my reactions were normal and just part of the anesthetics. I also began to feel very nauseous which wasn't fun. However in spite of all that, can you believe there was no pain as they sliced me open? I could feel them pushing or touching my stomach but it didn't hurt. I didn't even know when they began the incision. Jesus just sat there and stared at the whole procedure. What a trooper but how disgusting! Most people in our lives guessed the baby would be a girl and Jesus and I both had dreams of a baby girl but Jesus saw that baby come out and told me in a very surprised voice that it was a boy! We both couldn't believe it! Even the old wives tale of holding the wedding ring above my belly to see which way it swung failed us. I always wanted my kids to have a big brother like I did and we are both so happy to have gotten our little boy!
Unfortunately I spent the whole day in nausea and throwing up so I could barely hold my new little baby. Jesus did a great job of being there for him while I was so sick, I just cannot hold my anesthetics especially morphine! Anyone that visited us the first day kind of got the shaft as I was out of commission but they still got to welcome Joaquin to the world. It was also very tough being in the hospital with nurses having to help me walk as the drugs wore off and help me go to the bathroom and clean up my bodily fluids. I am very familiar with seeing family members in the hospital and helping them but never was it supposed to be me; I felt so disgusting as they had to clean me up! Luckily each day got better and I even got in trouble one day for walking around too much when I was supposed to be resting and letting my incision heal. Now that I'm home, it's even harder to just rest but I think I'm healing still each day. The hardest part was not being able to take care of my baby in the beginning but I just keep reminding myself we have the rest of my life to bond.
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