New Years Resolutions 2017

Our New Jag has documented many things this past year. Moving to Texas, going back to work full time, returning to be a stay at home mom, and having a second child were all big and exciting changes the past year and a half.  But behind the scenes were trials of death of loved ones, illnesses, finances and relationships.  This was just one of those years where my trials kept coming right after the next with no time to breathe in between.  Many times I felt anxiety, anger and panic as I tried to keep my head above water.  The blog took a hit with my writer's block because I haven't figured out how to share those feelings just yet but I've also decided that that's ok. 

My friend once told me that whenever you have a string of rough things happen, it means something really good is going to happen.  That was hard to believe but it gave me hope and we have recently been recognizing and receiving some great blessings to kick off the new year.   

So on to my New Years Resolutions.  When I finally caught a minute to breathe this past year, I started focusing on my job as a mother.  Being a mom is the most important thing to me and I felt it being neglected. I didn't feel like I was able to be the kind of mom I wanted to be.  My own struggles really distracted me from my priorities.  Once I got a grip, I made the goal of "feeling put together."  Feeling put together looks different for everyone. We all see different moms at the mall or the park and think they are the ones who "look" put together.  I had to decide what this looked like for me. Being emotionally, mentally and spiritually drained put a toll on my physical body.  I was tired all of the time, cranky in the mornings (and evenings) and really struggled to feel like myself.  But now that I am feeling like myself again, I decided that for me, feeling put together starts with my appearance.  I need to get dressed each day and not in yoga pants.  Don't get me wrong, I love some good athleisure and still wear leggings all of the time but I want to look nice enough to go out, even if I'm not going out.  Doing that gives me much more motivation for the day.  I've also been wearing makeup more often.  Ya'll know I love playing with makeup but doing a full face everyday isn't realistic for my lifestyle.  I can however whip on some blush, mascara and eyebrows in minutes and it too helps me feel put together.  

I also started focusing on my kid's schedule a little bit more.  I've never been rigid with this one, but it makes a significant difference for me when I stay in my routine.  "They" say it makes a difference for small children too but like I said,  since I've never been rigid about schedules, I'm not going to engage in that discussion. ;)  

I've also started focusing on including one thing per day that makes me feel like a "good mom."  I know I'm a good mom but I fall into the trap of always thinking I could do more.  My kids are not practicing writing and math and artwork every single day but when I do just one thing like that each day, it makes me feel more put together.  This doesn't have to be an organized thing.  Maybe I'll try a new recipe, make my pre-schooler trace his letters or pull out the puzzles that I hate but are good for the kids.  Just anything that makes me feel like I'm being a "good mom."  

So this is my goal for the new year, to continue what I've started.  I am going to "feel put together" most days and embrace being a mother.  

And just for fun, I have a second resolution.  That's skin care.  I've developed crows feet and I blame it on 2016! How can I be so into makeup and not know enough about skin care?  That's going to change!  My husband bought me the new skin care line from IT Cosmetics for Christmas so I'm going to start with that and see what kind of results I get.  

So as we all reflect on the good and the bad this past year and get ready for what 2017 will bring, let's remember what the late President James E. Faust of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints once said: "A grateful heart is a beginning of greatness."

  

Happy 4th Birthday Joaquin!

Before we get into my FOUR year old's annual birthday poem, here are some pics from his party.  He and his friend Kenton, share the same birthday and are the same age!  So today we shared a party by having breakfast in the park. We had hot chocolate, fancy donuts and embraced the playground!

Hot cocoa

Donuts

Friends!

Birthday boys with birthday cake donuts!

Birthday boys' little sisters

Family

And now his poem, written by his "loving mommy."

Joaquin y sus Travesuras

I have never felt more loved than I feel by you.

Sometimes at night, when you’re scared of the dark

I’ll lay by your side until you fall asleep.

You offer me your pillow, your hand and you rub my arm until I’m sleepy too.

It’s the sweetest thing you could possibly do.

Your intelligence is something I’m proud of.

How you follow books with your finger and can count to 100…

Stop.

This is getting way too sentimental for the year we really had!

Let’s talk about year three, shall we?

“Terrible twos” is a lie.

Three was my hardest year as a parent yet

And it’s not because it was my first year with two kids.

It’s because you were three, three years old!

Why Joaquin why?

Why do you think now, as you approach 4, is the appropriate time to start throwing tantrums?  

Not once as a little toddler did you fall to the ground in a public place, flailing your arms around and crying.

But now? 

Now as you’re almost four years old, you think it’s ok to have a meltdown because I buttoned your jeans and you wanted to do it yourself!

I’m not a mind reader!

Oh hey, and speaking of clothes,  can’t you just wear what I want you to wear? 

If I’m telling you to wear shorts, it’s because it’s hot out.  

If I’m telling you to wear pants, it’s because it’s cold. 

Just trust me.

And why is it such a big deal if I want to make a left turn and you want to make a right when we are walking the dog?  

It’s a big enough deal that makes you stop in your tracks and scream at me!

 

Why do you scream at everything?  

You scream when you play,

you scream when you sing,

you scream when you’re mad,

you just scream all day!

Hey, are you hungry?  

Do you want eggs?  

I better not overcook them because you’ll stop eating if they have any crispiness on them.  

How about a sandwich? 

Ham? 

Cheese? 

PB&J?  

Nope, just butter, a butter sandwich is all you ever want. 

For the most part, you and your sister play nice but I see you push her, I see you!

And when you share a bath and it’s time to get out, 

just let me dry her off first without getting upset; 

she’s still a baby!

Remember that one time you ran onto the court and then refused to get off and made me chase you down during mommy’s volleyball game? 

That was cute and by cute, 

I mean embarrassing.

“Nooooooo!” 

When I try to think of more examples of your behavior to share with you, my mind just replays you saying this lovely word over 

and over 

and over…

Why was year three so hard?!  

I don’t care about your power struggle and your need for independence!  

I am your mother and you will listen to me! 

Wait…I realize what I just said doesn’t mean anything to you.

Year four has got to be better,  

Sure, I wish you could stay little and in my arms forever 

but I don’t wish you would stay three.  

Please grow up at age four,
just a little,
just a little for your mommy.

Happy 4th Birthday Joaquin!
Really, let's have a happy fourth year!

Khaleesi's 1st Birthday Poem

I could have sworn I already wrote a blog post for my sweet little baby turning one and included some pictures of her birthday and smash cake, etc. but I can't find it anywhere!  What I do know is I never wrote her birthday poem.  I made a commitment to myself to write a birthday poem for my children each year and then give them their book of poems on their 18th birthday.  I did this for three years so far with Joaquin.  KJ turned one, three months ago now, and I still haven't written her poem. I've been having a major blog writer's block the last few months while real, adult, difficult life has been happening so maybe that's why.  But I know that this girl deserves every bit of a poem I can muster!  She is a ray of sunshine and cuddles and sweetness that I can't live without. I need her and I love seeing her brother need her as they grow older and closer.  I guess I have two toddlers now (wait, I have a toddler and a pre-schooler?!) and no more a baby!

Here is her poem.  For you, Khaleesi.

My first born child stole my heart

and I prayed you’d take an equal part

It’s been one year and you are mine

You do have my heart, for all of time.

I love your smile and infectious laugh

Your happiness like a contagious blast.

Thanks for being such an easy baby

Cuddling you puts me in a trance, so hazy.

You love walking Biscuit on his leash

And you love eating blueberries for your feast.

The Spanish you’re learning impresses me so

How you follow simple directions,

"Traemelo tus zapatos."

You began to walk just before turning one

And now you run with your brother,

And have too much fun!

The hair on your head is slow to grow

But you’re still the most beautiful toddler I know!

Those chubby cheeks, your little teeth

The way you  scream “mama” and run to me.

I love all the things I learned to do as a mom

To cook for you, bathe you and sing you sweet songs.

I missed you for a time when I went back to teach

But now have no regrets being home,

for its’ you that I need.

Whenever I hold you and people say hi,

you put your head on my shoulder and act so shy.

But I just smile because I’m obsessed

With the way that you snuggle into my chest.

Before having kids, I didn’t do babies

But you are simply the sweetest little lady!

I want to tickle you, play with you, cuddle you…

all the day long.

You’re the cutest little thing

And in my arms, you belong!

Texas Road Trip

This past weekend was my handsome husband's birthday and what better way to celebrate than a little family road trip!  We decided to go to San Antonio because we have season passes to Six Flags that aren't only good in Dallas but can be used all over the country and they just happen to have one in San Antonio!

Our first stop on our trip however was to fulfill a dream of mine, actually a dream of American women all over the country.  We stopped in Waco to see Chip and Joanna Gaine's Magnolia Market from HGTV's "Fixer Upper!"  I cannot even describe how excited I was to be there and to even just see it driving towards it!  I was literally like a kid going to Disney World; my excitement even surprised myself! Since being here in Texas, my husband has told me I better plan a girls trip to go here because he had no interest and then after going, he even wanted to stop again on the way home (although we didn't).   Their bakery was so delicious where we tried an extremely moist and buttery-frosted, strawberry cupcake as well as a huge, dense yet fluffy, cheddar bacon biscuit.  Biscuits are one of my favorite foods (especially since moving to Dallas) so I couldn't resist.  We then spent the majority of our time out in the yard in front of the silos playing in the grass with balls and wooden building blocks along side black and white striped bean bag chairs for lounging.  Oh and I can't forget the wooden swings!  Food trucks sat out back and the Market, oh the market, was full of Joanna's style!  She's a big deal designer now so her stuff ain't cheap but it sure is lovely.  I couldn't bring myself to buy a $28 t-shirt this trip but I'll be back.

We then continued our journey down to San Antonio and my most favorite spot was the River Walk!  I'm a sucker for tourism but this sure was pretty.  Beautiful brick lined the river with stone arch bridges to take you you from one side to the other while the water taxi passed through back and forth.  Along the river walk were hotels, restaurants and shops to keep you busy exploring.  We ate at a cute little steakhouse right on the water where our kids watched the ducks and we took in all the scenery.

The next day, Jesus' cousin and his wife from Houston drove down to meet us and we went to Six Flags!  Our two kids survived a busy day and enjoyed all the rides.  I found out however that I might officially be done with rides I once enjoyed.  My motion sickness has gotten worse and worse over the years and while I can still handle big drops on roller coasters, anything that spins or loopty loops might be out.  I wanted to be brave and thought I could handle just one so I took a spin on the Super Man coaster without checking it out ahead of time.  My husband told me to look and see how it was first but I didn't want to know so I wouldn't chicken out.  It had sooooo many twists and turns and upside downs that I was sick for a good hour after the ride.  I just have to embrace that this is what has happened to my life.  But nonetheless it was still a good day.  We ended the night by finding an awesome Puerto Rican restaurant for dinner. Being married to A Dominican, we have had lots of Dominican and similar Puerto Rican food and this restaurant surprisingly had some of the best!  Mofungo, tostones, pastillitos, yuca, arroz con andoulles, oh my...

Finally on our road trip back home, we stopped at one of Texas's great road trip stops, Buc-ee's.  It's basically a GIANT gas station with all kinds of souvenirs inside from cowboy hats, Texan trinkets, old fashioned candy lining the walls, real Texas BBQ and so much more!  I'm sure every Texan has their favorite thing there but Jesus and I were happy with the salt water taffy and the cinnamon roasted almonds.

Since moving to Texas just 10 months ago, we have seen Dallas, Houston, Galveston, Waco and San Antonio,  Not done exploring yet but not too shabby for getting started!

Grandma Jane's Visit to Dallas

I'm beginning this blog while my son is asleep cuddling grandma for nap time...does it get any sweeter?!

We all have missed grandma.  The kids (and Biscuit) have especially loved having her here. We showed her around our neighborhood, our apartment living lifestyle and spent the rest of our time being tourists around the city.

Here was our itinerary.

Saturday: Lunch at Texas De Brazil (similar to Fogo De Chao for my Minnesotans) with Marcel and Ligia and their kids followed by a pool party at our place.  Then we rounded the day off with Bubble teas at our favorite little Vietnamese spot, RollnGo.

Sunday: Church and more time at the pool.

Monday: Breakfast at the world's largest Happy Meal McDonalds followed by a day in the water at Six Flags Hurricane Harbor. (No photos here because our phones were in our locker of course so we could enjoy the day!)  Can I just say how awesome it is living close to a Six Flags and we have already got our money's worth on our season passes. 

Tuesday: Lunch at one of Dallas's hot spots, Torchy's Tacos.  It was a first for me and I'll definitely be going back.  Then we ventured to Reunion tower to overlook the city's excellent view!

Wednesday: A trip to our favorite Mall (North Park Center) with sadly no celebrity sightings today but we did enjoy walking around, seeing the turtle pond and getting Toni Rivard cake balls before taking my mom back to the airport.

We will miss her but flights from Minneapolis to here are on the cheap so we will be seeing her again soon I'm sure!

Grandma Leona - I love you.

I had an all too familiar weekend.  Just months ago, I was in Chicago for the funeral of my grandma on my dad's side and this weekend, I was back again for the funeral of grandma on my mom's side.  Everything from the hotel to the red brick Chicago style funeral home to the saying goodbye struck familiarity.

One thing grandma always said was that she was going to live to be 111.  I don't know where that number came from but it was her number.  She had been on hospice the last two years and it sure felt like she was fighting for that 111 mark.  While that didn't happen, she made it well into her 90s and lived an amazing life.  From her story of immigration to falling in love with a ballroom dancer like herself, to marrying her love who was a funeral director, to end up styling the deceased hair as part of the business!  Grandma became an incredible author and now I can read her story as well as so much of my family history through her eyes in the books that she's published.

I have so many memories of Grandma that start in my childhood.

The giant parties in her basement,

Santa clause coming over every Christmas,

The model train around their Christmas tree,

Sarge, her giant german shepherd that I was scared of but wish i knew him now,

Her visiting us in Minneapolis and attending my softball games and neighborhood block parties,

Taking Limo rides just to go to Red Lobster,

All the polish and Czech food I ate and learned about every time I came back to Chicago,

Her red, brick, ranch-style home and each room with distinction,

The photo albums that flooded her basement,

The Eastern European vacation she took me on to explore our genealogy!

Not only does my mind fill with memories but with gratitude for all she and my grandpa did for our family to get us back on our feet so many times.

But the most special memory I have was seeing my grandparents love each other for over fifty years. Every time grandpa called grandma sweetheart and every time she wanted to be where he was in the house.  When Grandma laughed at grandpa’s jokes, the same ones he told over and over.  When they held hands and of course when they danced.  When their playful banter always followed up with an endearing expression like the words, sweetheart or I Love you.

I love the thought of grandma being with grandpa again!

Also, while she never got to meet my youngest daughter, I felt she was watching us at the funeral and got to meet her when I held her in my arms as I visited her casket.

I love you Grandma!

The last time I saw her, giving my son, her great grandson, a hug!

5 year Anniversary/Easter Weekend!

We've been married five years!  Sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday but most of the time it feels like it's been forever.  Jesus and I just fit.  We need each other.  I need him to push me out of my comfort zone, to make me take chances and to give me someone to rely on besides myself.  I need  him to teach me how to take a joke and understand sarcasm without being offended.   Jesus needs me to calm him down, to teach him that even if he grew up being loud culturally, he still needs to be sweet.  He needs me to let him know that not every leap of faith is worth taking.  He needs me to make him laugh after a stressful day of work. (We do that for each other).  He needs me to help take care of our babies that keep us both exhausted but full of joy.  Jesus and I are so opposite in so many ways but we're also so complimentary.  I can't explain how well he fits into my life and how I can be myself around him.  I mean the self I am around my family, that's who I can be around Jesus!  Everyone's a little bit crazy but Jesus is just the person to handle my crazy when it comes out.  As well as my anxieties and short comings.  I don't think I've ever met someone as forgiving as my husband.  Well...my mom...so maybe that's a reason I love Jesus so much because he forgives like she does.  I could go on but let's cut to the five year celebration!

We knew we wanted to do "something."  Like more than just go to dinner something.  So we bought seasons passes to Six Flags Over Texas which is just thirty minutes from where we live! Our first use was to celebrate our anniversary kid-free.  Two thirty-somethings riding the roller coasters.  What a fun day!  And scary...and sickening...but hey, we did it!

This ride is cray cray!  While going upside down those two loops, there's no shoulder harness, just a seatbelt and lap bar.  How can you upside down like that?!  Somehow the gravity pushes you down so much that it had me hunched over and I couldn't even push myself back up while in the loop!  That centrifugal force had me!  It gets better. Jesus went on the ride with virtual reality glasses so he could not see what was coming next except for the mimicking actions inside his glasses. He was a fighter pilot, shooting things and falling from buildings.  So intense and one of the first of its' kind!  My motion sickness was on its' last leg so I rode glasses free and that was still intense.

 

Mr. Freeze is another intense coaster that shoots you up the roller coaster track backwards at high speeds around a loop  and turns until you go backwards straight up a 180 degree angle, all to come rolling back down (but now forwards) the 180 degree hill and over the turns and loop one more time.

The next day was Easter and we celebrated with Jesus' cousins in McKinney.  Ligia made an amazing traditional dinner with ham and pineapple, cheesy sour cream potatoes and mini bundt cakes from "Nothing bundt cakes" bakery!  That place is surprising delicious.  After dinner, we sent the kids through the yard for the Easter egg hunt.  My family and sister-in-law's family, have always done an Easter egg hunt and I really missed not being with them this year. So to get to do it still, especially with my own little kids, made my day!